Over and Over I Fall
by Undecoded
Summary: ON HIATUS! When Edward left, Bella went through a transformation. From shy and clusmy to a bittersweet scene girl. Months later, Edward returns, only to be shocked by the new Bella. But his feelings haven't changed. Has Bella's? AU,OOC Bella,OC


**Synopsis: Months after Edward had left, Bella went through a metamorphosis. From clumsy and quiet to a bittersweet scene girl. Edward returns, only to be shocked by her transformation, but still recognizes her, still in love with her. She, however, is not so calm about it. Her thoughts and emotions are sent into chaos, and her life dissolves into a huge mess. Her new friends try to protect her from her old family. Will they be able to keep things from getting even worse? And which group will win Bella for good? **

**Disclaimer: All original characters, plots, original work is strictly Stephanie Meyer's. Anything new or changed material is owned by me. **

Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

"_The boys and girls in the clique, __the awful names that they stick; _

_you're never gonna fit in much, kid._

_But if you're troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt, _

_we'll make them pay for the things that they did."_

* * *

BELLA LOOKED AT THE clock and sighed with relief. She hadn't overslept so much that it cost her time to prepare for school. She had a morning ritual of throwing her entire closet into piles on the floor in search of the perfect outfit for the day.

Bella smiled and pulled open the door of her jam-packed closet. Ever since her life was struck by a gaping hole left by _him_, she took joy in creating a huge mess, only to be able to fix it later in the night.

She growled and sent a pink and black polka-dot tee flying over her shoulder. After school when arriving back into her room with her neon-colored tanks tops and tees in crumpled heaps on the floor, her striped and ripped skinny jeans half-folded blobs on her bed, she'd feel a strange joy sweep over her.

Consciously, Bella knew that she cherished the power to fix her problems, even as minor one as a messy bedroom, but denied it, writing it off as contentment from surviving another day. She refused the fact that _he_ had left her life that ruined, so ruined she had so much difficulty fixing it.

Eventually she settled on an electric blue tank top and a pair of black ripped skinny jeans. Bella slid on a pair of checker-board Vans and started straightening her impossible hair. She teased it to the proper scene height, and started applying eyeliner and blue eyeshadow.

Bella stood and surveyed herself in her full-length mirror, until giving her reflection an approving nod. She walked over to her bookcase and picked up her Skelanimals elephant plushy, Ellie. She gave the soft toy a hug and took the ribbon necklace back from around its neck.

The necklace was a short, dark green ribbon with an old key hanging from it. It was a key; _the_ key to her heart. Every night she would take it off and trust it to its night guardian, Ellie. So far the ribbon had only been with two people; herself and Ellie. She would not lose her heart again.

She grasped the ends of the ribbon and brought them up around her neck, and tied it in place. It settled right above the neck of Bella's tank. She grabbed her piano tote filled with her school work and emergency makeup supply, and started towards the beginning of her walk to school.

* * *

BELLA GASPED IN THE crisp air and smiled. She felt a pretty good day ahead. After _he _left and she went scene, Bella had gotten alot more friends. Not Lauren, Angela, or Eric. Other scene kids, some emo friends. Her scene friends, like Kat, were perfect for having a great time, for taking her mind off _his _betrayal.

But when thinking about it was inevitable, her emo friends, like Benedikt, talked to her and kept her from slicing her arms like them. The help Kat and Benedikt had given her had left her forever in their debt.

Eventually Bella's thoughts dissolved into the playing of songs in her head. From Paramore to My Chemical Romance rocked out as clear as if she was listening to her Zen. By the time Forks High focused into view, she had on a great big grin.

"Rainbow!" Kat called out from the parking lot, waving and smiling at her. Bella waved back and picked up her pace. "What's up Dinosaur!" she greeted Kat cheerfully when she reached her. Benedikt was next to Kat, leaning back against his black truck with his arms crossed and his hair in his face.

"Oh em gee, you're looking emo today Balloon!" Bella teased him, using his hated nickname. They all had their little silly names for each other. Benedikt was the only one hating and refusing to use his. "Boy, you're jolly. For once." He said back dully, referring to the little discussion they had yesterday.

Bella had had a weak moment and almost created a red river near her elbow with Benedikt's snitched knife. Luckily Benedikt had caught her seconds before she did it, and had coaxed her to give him the knife back. There was a thin line that kept Bella scene, rather than emo.

Instead of shooting back a response, she just gave him her saddest look. He had promised her he wouldn't bring it up again. Benedikt lifted his head up, revealing his eyes. "Sorry, I just..." he trailed off. Bella just gave him a small smile and nodded.

The first bell rang out and people started to enter the school for homeroom. The three of them stayed there in the parking lot. They were always late for their first class.

* * *

THE THREE OF THEM entered into their class without trying to hide it. It wasn't like Benedikt's long black hair covering his eyes and his snakebite piercings were going to blend into a class filled with Abercrombie and Fitch addicted preps. Bella's brown eyes contrasted with the heavy black liquid eyeliner and thick mascara, creating a scary effect, and her clothes and hair were just as noticeable.

Eyes of all colors glared or stared in awe at the strange group of fellow students shuffling into homeroom. Benedikt was hated and taunted by the popular girls; Kat and Bella were ignored by them entirely. And the three of them wouldn't have it any other way.

Bella slid into a seat near the back, Benedikt behind her in the last row of desks, Kat next to her. The meaningless hour that consisted of homeroom was always spent by passing notes back and forth while the condescending Ms. Pritt droned on about Shakespeare, her favorite subject. Meanwhile Bella and Benedikt were talking about Shakespeare too.

_Did you know last year one of Ms. Pritt's students committed suicide to one of the things in Romeo and Juliet? -Bella_

**Wicked! And yet the old teach is still talking about it. -B.**

_Shows you how much she cares. 'Oh, a student killed herself? That's terrible, but I love talking about Shakespeare! So whatever.'_

**As if teachers ever care. Any teachers.**

_The last time a teacher said she cared about me she set the school counselor loose on my ass. Then again that was back when I was a zombie..._

**Ah, the joy I had of befriending you back then.**

_Hey, I wasn't that bad!_

"Passing notes? In _my_ class? First you're late, now you _dare _to pass notes! Hand it over!" barked Ms. Pritt. Benedikt hadn't seen the slow line of movement Ms. Pritt had used to catch him in the act, her lecture never pausing. Kat swallowed a snicker of laughter as Benedikt's face turned pale, everyone's eyes on him yet again.

Bella sighed and put her hands over her eyes. They ever rarely got caught passing notes; when they did it was because of Benedikt. Bella always had a piece of paper handy with facts about Hamlet and other works to cover the note in case Ms. Pritt got suspicious about her constant writing. Benedikt was more open about it, writing on it flat-out on his desk.

Benedikt hesitated to hand her the note. Usually their joking around in the notes involved a show they had seen the night before, or a band they liked. But this note was worse, being about Ms. Pritt. Plus Benedikt had gotten detention for passing notes twice already; a third time and he'd get a call home.

Only Kat and Bella knew why Benedikt's dad couldn't be called. It was the reason he would stop by their house late at night, nose broken and bruises covering his body. Kat's expertise with makeup would protect him from inquires from the counselors, Bella's quick thinking would save him if the makeup ever came off.

They all had a reason why they needed each other; Bella's broken heart, Benedikt's abusive dad, and Kat's problems with an eating disorder. They were drawn together, locking in place. One of them couldn't survive without the others.

"Give me your note!" Ms. Pritt hissed, about to grab the note from his hand frozen in place. "That's my note!" Bella snapped at her without thinking. Her mind was taken over by the single thought of keeping Benedikt from trouble. "Then why does Benedikt have it?" Ms. Pritt smirked.

"What do you think! I was showing him it!" Bella rolled her eyes as if she was irritated by Ms. Pritt's idiocy. "Really, then why did Benedikt seem so hesitant and nervous when caught?" Ms. Pritt wasn't going down without a fight. And neither was Bella. She knew the teacher would relish getting Benedikt in even more trouble.

"Are you blind?" Bella was going for Ms. Pritt's anger. That way she would be consumed by her anger and not by her common sense. "He's my friend, why would he want to get me in trouble? Boy, you're as stupid as they say." She was laying it on thick she knew, but that was the only way.

"How dare you! In all my years, I've never seen such riffraff-," Ms. Pritt's furious words were cut off by the bell. Bella gave her a sickly-sweet smile and said, "See you tomorrow!" before skipping out of the room.

* * *

BIOLOGY, THE ONE thing Bella hated more than Aeropostale. The sight of the doorway always sent her stomach on a roller coaster, made her eyes sting. While everyone went in, Kat stayed by Bella's side in the hallway until it was impossible not to enter. While being late for homeroom was their routine, being late for other classes was not.

Bella's aching heart urged her to run to the empty room at the end of the hallway, but she fought it. No matter how much it hurt, she never skipped Biology once. It was an inner war, twisting her insides and leaving a bitter taste in her mouth, her head pounding.

"Bella..." Kat gently prodded. Only Kat was told of Bella's problems with Biology class. Why almost everyday she would draw her bangs down over her eyes and silently cry. Kat would check on her and make sure Bella didn't lose it completely, then take her mind off it with jokes and make fun of the preppy guys.

Bella took in a deep breath and took a step. She hesitated, watching as the last of the other people in her class filed into the classroom. She shook her head and walked through the doorway as if she didn't have a care in the world. Kat followed behind her, her hot pink heels clicking as she walked.

Bella took the left side of the counter and perched on the stool. She rested her chin in her hand her elbow on the counter. Kat sat next to her of course, and she tapped her long black fingernails impatiently on the linoleum counter. _Tick tap tap, tick tap tap._

Their Biology teacher looked up in annoyance from his papers and stood. "Okay class, today we will be reviewing." He clapped his hands and turned to flip on the projector. The students groaned, knowing the class would be boring to the extreme.

The lights were turned off, and a review video started playing. "Look at John!" Kat snickered, pointing to a guy who was already asleep, drooling on the desk. Bella laughed and shook her head. For once, her eyes weren't welling up with tears, memories of _him _laughing and talking repeating itself in a loop in her head wasn't there.

It was like a Band-Aid was placed on the stabbing rift in her heart, keeping the pain away. Usually she was wrapped up in it, the feeling like an old hoodie. Familiar and strangely comforting. Bella allowed herself to embrace it, because it was the only thing she had recognized after _they_ all left her.

While her emotions were calm today, she still drew her side-bangs down across her eyes. Kat watched her and gave her a look that asked, is it happening? Bella knew she was asking whether she was falling apart again. She had the day before, which had driven her to take Benedikt's knife after class.

She shook her head no, even though it was happening. It wasn't as severe as the day before; it was barely a tweak, a slight movement in her chest. But it was there. Bella put her head down on the counter, burying her face in her arms. Slowly the feeling in her chest rose and spread like a cold chill.

She lifted her head and peeked to see if Kat was watching her, but she was looking at one of the new guys. Bella let out a relieved breath and put her head back down. Only then did she let a tear run down her cheek.

Bella couldn't keep the image of _him_ out of her head. Golden butter-scotch eyes, tousled locks, loving look. Then slowly the sweet eyes narrowed with disgust, the loving look turned, fueled with hate. Another tear slid down her cheek and landed on the counter. The little she could see in the dark room went blurry with unshed tears.

_1, 2, 3... _She thought to herself. Bella would allow herself to shed only three tears in class, only allowed herself to cry about _them_ for a minute. In class anyway. At her house, when Benedikt or Kat wasn't there, she allowed herself to freely cry, lying on her bed.

Often she would lay awake, right up to 3 am, until finally dozing off. Often at night was when she would finally allow herself to sob. Cry for what she had lost.

Bella pulled out a piece of paper, inspired by her thoughts. She wiped her eyes of any lingering tears, and took out her pen.

_10 is the time for sorrow,_ she wrote. Often that was the most painful hour of the night.

_11 is the time for rain, for the sorrow to be washed away. _Listening to the rain tap against her window soothed her and stopped her thoughts for awhile.

_12 is the time for a new day, for the sorrow to come and play, again..._ Bella would lie under her cool sheets and remember the nights she spent lying there with _him_. Often she would be asleep already back then, but every night she would wake up at twelve, and then be lulled back to sleep by humming of her lullaby_._

_1 is the time for the dawn to break, the time to cry wakes_, she wrote slowly.

_2 is the time when the rays shine through, when hope arrives, brand new... _Bella would always mistake branches tapping against her glass as _him_ returning, not thinking straight from lack of sleep.

_3 is the time when hopes breaks, leaving numbness in its wake._ Slowly the excitement would drain out of her, and she would doze off into an exhausting sleep.

Bella stared down at the paper, her poem almost finished. Finally, after thought, she wrote the title. _The Cycles._ The bell rang, and she gathered up her papers and left the room, exhausted.

* * *

IN HER ROOM SHE dropped her tote on the desk and flopped down on a black leather chair. Bella had completely changed her room when _they_ left; trying to rid it of the memories they had created there. She had put in bookshelves, covered the walls in posters of bands and movies, and pictures of her, Benedikt, and Kat.

The shelves were filled with CDs like Hellogoodbye, Escape the Fate, Tokio Hotel. She had books like Oh my Goth and The Summoning. From Debussy to Evanescence, from Wuthering Heights to The Luxe. Everything had changed.

Bella smiled as she looked at the pile of clothes everywhere. It hadn't taken her very long to find her outfit today, so it wasn't as messy as usual. She had gone for a less complicated outfit, for a more relaxed look.

She cleaned up the minor chaos, putting the skinny jeans in their drawer, the tank tops in another drawer. T-shirts went on hangers in the closet, and jewelry back to their box. Her room was back to the usual order it was in. She hadn't changed so much as to leave everything thrown wherever. She had been left out of her spot, and she hated it.

Bella lifted her hair up and untied the ribbon. Instead of immediately placing it on Ellie, she looked at the key. It was a fancy key, three small circles where you would grasp it to turn it in the lock; a hollow, round length of metal until finally a small rectangle pointing down.

As for where she had found it. That Bella had kept to herself. Kat had been told that she had found it in an antique shop, Benedikt hadn't cared. But she had really found it at _their_ house. No one else would have a key that old. Or if they did, it wouldn't be in such good condition.

That key was the only personal thing they had left behind. She had found it lying in the dead center of the top drawer in _his_ dresser. Bella had taken it with her, unable to leave the only reminder of _him_ that she had. _He_ had taken everything. The fact it was originally _theirs_ made it priceless to her. She would not let anyone touch it.

Bella's obsession with having it near her every second had given the preppy guys at Forks High enough reason to taunt her even more. At first they just made jokes about it, hoping to make her upset, but she just laughed with them. Then they had started shoving her into lockers and tripping her.

Although they had made a mockery of her ever since she had become different from the crowd. From calling her pathetic to names she'd block out later, they were relentless to make her cry. They only succeeded when they talked about _him._ And then Kat would clean her up in the girls' bathroom, and they'd return to class to find Benedikt's hands bruised and the guys' eyes turning black.

_Tap tap tap._ Bella was startled out of thought by someone knocking on her window. She quickly tied her necklace on the plushy and went to open her window. Benedikt was balanced on a tree branch, his eyes sparkling. She stepped back and let him climb into her room. He sat down in front of the window and leaned his head back against the sill.

"I was afraid to go home." Benedikt explained. Bella nodded, understanding. Ms. Pritt might have called his dad even thought she had taken the blame for him.

She sat down cross-legged in front of him and examined him. Benedikt was probably the toughest guy Bella knew that still talked to her. Jacob had cut off ties with her, believing if _they_ had thought it best to leave her alone, he should too. He didn't want to put her in danger either.

She decided Benedikt was the toughest guy in Forks High. Most would disagree with her, saying it was the preppy guys, the jocks. Bella thought the opposite. Truly strong guys don't pick on people, try to make girls cry.

Benedikt had straight black hair that would completely cover his eyes when he'd look down. He didn't have side-bangs like most people, but they were in a straight line, cut so the ends of them were jagged. He had snakebite piercings, in both corners of his mouth, on his bottom lip. He'd wear a plain black pull-over hoodie, rarely ever taking it off.

He'd wear black, ripped skinny jeans with untied high-top Converses. Benedikt's favorite type of belt was a black pyramid-stud one. Bella knew everything about him. He was her best guy friend. She couldn't imagine how she or Kat would be without him.

"I don't think Ms. Pritt would be calling your dad. More like mine." Bella said, giving him a smile. Even though she had created a giant scene, he was still worried. But he had a right to be. She couldn't imagine having a father that would do that to her. And she couldn't imagine Benedikt just letting himself get hit. It didn't seem like him.

"I... I can't believe you did that. All because of me. You shouldn't have done that!" Benedikt said, pushing his hair back, his hand shaking with stress. "I couldn't just sit there knowing what would happen to you if she called your dad!" Bella pointed out.

"Yeah..." Benedikt was cut off by Kat crashing on the floor in front of him. "You were in the way!" Kat complained to him, sitting up and rubbing her arm. He just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, clearly irritated Kat was there already. He had been wanting to talk to Bella some more.

Kat grabbed a pillow off Bella's bed and hit Benedikt with it. "Don't you roll your eyes at me!" she laughed, and then turned on Bella. "No!" Bella cried, before being whooped with it flat in the face. She laughed and fell over, Kat falling down next to her.

And that's how they spent most of the night.

* * *

BELLA WOKE AND sat up, stretching. Benedikt and Kat had left early in the morning, granting her few hours of sleep. She threw her sheets off and rolled out of her bed. They had been laughing and joking the whole time, and Bella had very restful sleep.

This morning she threw out almost her entire closet until finally settling. She had a feeling today would be a day a simple shirt and skinny jeans wouldn't pass. She chose a low-cut neon green shirt, a black tutu skirt with a chain belt, black tights, poison green high heels, and green-and-black striped arm warmers.

This morning Bella actually had time to dye temporary black streaks in her hair, and added a green bow to keep her hair on the right side back. She teased it like normal when it dried, and did her makeup with black eyeliner, green eyeshadow, and then decided to add black flicks to her eyeliner. Today she needed to go all out.

She grabbed her tote and necklace, making sure the ribbon was securely tied. It had come undone before in class. Bella walked down the stairs, careful not to trip and fall, and then let herself out the door. She had to walk to school ever since her truck had broken down. The repair cost was outrageous, and she had refused to let Charlie pay for it.

* * *

WHEN SHE WALKED into the hallway of the high school with Kat and Benedikt in front of her, Bella felt a strange vibe. All the preppy girls were in clusters, none of them alone, all whispering and staring at her. She shivered and Kat whispered to her, "I feel it too." Slowly Benedikt shifted to walk in front of them, and Kat walked by Bella's side.

Bella felt someone grab her by the back of her shirt, and roughly pulled her back. She slammed against a locker, barely able to stay on her feet. One the jocks was holding her by her shirt. "Well, the scene chick is looking mighty suggestive today." He smirked, sending her a sleazy look.

"Get bent!" Bella cried, trying to break free of his grip. His friends laughed and walked closer, forming a small circle around them, blocking her in. Benedikt and Kat were trying to get to their best friend, but a group of people were holding them back. Bella smacked herself loose and tried to get out of the group.

The leader of the group grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her back into the lockers. "Well, since you're not gonna cooperate willingly, we'll just make you!" A guy from the group grabbed Bella's necklace and yanked it so hard it came off.

"Go long!" The guy called, and threw the necklace to another jock. "Give it back!" Bella yelled, running after them, her eyes tearing up. They were going to take her necklace, the only reminder she had left. "Stop it!" Benedikt yelled, only knowing the necklace meant a lot to her. Bella ran after the guy holding her ribbon, only for him to throw it across the hall to another person.

Back and forth they tossed it, Bella and him always too slow to get it. Bella was crying by then, tears flowing freely down her face, not bothering to try to get her ribbon back. Kat was trying to calm her down, and Benedikt was still yelling and chasing the jerks around.

Suddenly Benedikt barreled towards the next guy, and the jock quickly threw it, not to anyone in general. The leader of the group raced towards it, only for it to be caught by another guy. Not one of the jerks who was harassing Bella, a guy she had once thought her life.

Bella felt her blood run cold at the sight of the family had deserted her only months before. Dangling from his fingers was her key necklace. The person holding it was the past owner. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

Behind him stood Jasper, Alice, and Emmett. Rosalie was a distance behind them, sulking. Bella's first instinct was to run up and launch herself into his arms; she refused that thought. Months away from him had hardened her feelings for him enough to be able to resist. "Edward..." she couldn't help but breathe, a couple feet away from him.

At the sound of his name, the name they had only heard once, but was filled with the uttermost importance, Kat and Benedikt stepped between Bella and her old family. Kat gave them a nasty look and started leading Bella down the hallway, away from them.

Benedikt just stared at them, his eyes narrowed with a strong hatred. Even though he would not be able to inflict harm upon them, the Cullens still backed up; startled by the look he gave them. Edward almost lost his grip on Bella's necklace from the sight of Benedikt, one of the darkest guys he'd ever seen.

Bella watched them a distance away, Kat frantically trying to get her to focus on something else. Her face was dripping with tears when she saw Benedikt reach his hand out, expectedly waiting to be handed her necklace. Edward slowly dropped it, the ribbon sliding from his grasp.

Benedikt gave them a final glare, before turning and going towards Bella and Kat. He slid his arm around Bella's shoulders, and together he and Kat created a protective shield around her. They slowly lead her down the hallway, past the Cullens, Bella's head down, away from their stares.

Seeing Bella's tear-stained face, Benedikt part-way turned, and sent them a warning.

"We'll make you pay for the things that you did to her."

* * *

**A/N: Well, there it is. It's my first fanfiction. Oh, I have links to pictures of Benedikt, Bella now, and Kat on my profile. Also, I'll be putting some trivia facts about this story on there.**

**Thanks for reading, and please review! I would mean a lot to me, and it always makes my day!**

**-Forever and Always-**

**-Undecoded-**


End file.
